Day 7 - The end is Nigh

We woke up to grey skies and lots of people were hungover after the night stage frollicked into the early hours, I was glad I went to bed early.

Ryan looked a bit of a sorry state and Ginger James didnt appear til breakfast was nearly over and he looked like total shit!

As we were packing up our kit the rain started again, so waterproofs went on, changed my tyres back to something with more grip, but noone cared - today was the last day, we only had a short 62km left to do, including a 2km special stage right at the end.

We all went inside for the results of the special stage, it was impossible to tell how we'd all done, so I wasn't really expecting to come that high up the board, even though I'd put in a good performance on the climb. So when I got a 3rd again I was dead chuffed!




check out all that gurning!



After the prize giving, we were set off - slightly later than normal, into the pissing rain. This was the order of the day. It rained and rained, and rained some more. The ground turned shitty, mud clagging round the wheels, grit grinding in the brakes. Before we'd even done  5k, I was feeling weary, I had to take a gel. It helped, but it was such hard work, lots of bits were unpassable, someone hit the deck in front of me in the river - face first, she was OK. *snigger*

There were a few lovely stretches of singletrack, they were slippery but rideable, some of the double track wasn't, a couple of proper gnarly slippery descents that nearly had me careering into a tree. There was a superb singletrack just before the lunch stop - in Brechfa (spelling)  I think, it cut down the hillside over some boardwalks, over a river with plastic piping as an obstacle - I'd like to say I rode this but I ballsed up my speed and line and had to walk it, back through some woods and onto the midgefest that was lunch. Needless to say we didnt stop for long, getting eaten alive wasn't really anyone's idea of fun. The rain had nearly slowed to nothing now and the sun was threatening to poke it's head out.

The ladies on the feed station said it wasnt' far - a big push up (which she meant literally), one more big hill then 8k on the road. The big hill was crazy steep, even RAF legs didnt get much further than me, it was a steep wet, rocky quarry road which was pretty eroded, and went on for 15 minutes! calves burning and back on the bike, back on sludge, churning my poor bike through the muck, it felt like the wheels weren't turning.

Finally we hit road and I knew I could make it back, it was still hilly but it was easier than the mud churning. I stopped for a slash in a field had a stretch, i was feeling pretty wasted and still had to do the last time trial. It's only 2km it'll be fine.

I rode on back through  Builth Wells and up to the campsite through the finish line. Rob and Ryan were there waiting already showered, Ryan had trashed his lovely Yeti and wasn't very happy, Rob grabbed me a can of coke to knock back before the time trial, we could go when we liked, he suggested getting it out the way before I got cold so I got on with it. Rob said to use the porta loos at the bottom of the hill as a berm and not to brake - joker!

 The course was pretty much  a 1km climb and 1km descent, I'd made the assumption it was a fire road ascent, I was a bit wrong there! It wasn't massively technical, but I quickly regretted locking out my forks  and fumbled to release them to get up over the rocks and roots. The hill went up quite steeply, i didnt have much left, but I pushed on up, it twisted up into the woods and climbed a bit further before twisted back round onto some sweet natural singletrack, the rain hadnt made it too slippery as I bobbed in and out of the trees, down a couple of smooth drops and hard right turn, a weird left turn that looked like it wanted to go the other way through a gate, bit more rooty wood singletrack and into an open field descent which was taped off and zig-zagged down the hill. The rain had made the grass slippery so I was a bit reserved then thought fuck it, let it go! I careered down the hill and saw what Rob meant about the bogs, I wasnt gutsy enough not to brake before I made the 90 degree turn out the bottom of the hill but I tried to use the camber to throw the bike round. I straightened up and sprinted for the line. Wahoo! I'd finished, I hadn't died, my bike was still (just about) working, I hadnt dnf'd.

Hurrah! The End! :-)

Matt carr stuck his mic in my face, I can't remember what I said but his reply was "you can't swear!" oops

Dropped off my chip, got my finishers jersey and first things first... free beer! :-)

I was meant to drive back with Rob and Ryan but they wanted to get back and miss the presentation, I quite wanted to stick around as I suspected I might still be lying in 3rd overall, I hadnt thought I'd done the special stage quick enough but overall my penalties might be enough. So I arranged to get back with Ginge the next day which would mean a celebration tonight!

After a couple of beers, I got my stuff from Rob's van we said our goodbyes, snogs n hugs n that. Ryan's parting comment "you fuckin's stink!" charming. ;-)

Presentation was going to be about 4 so I had time to go and have a wash - I was filthy! and wsh my bike down (also filthy!)

The guys at The Big Adventure Store did a brilliant job servicing and fixing this when I got home!

There was free beer so I had a couple more beers whilst the presentation went on, the Male Solo had been exciting all week, with Matt Page and Ajay fighting it out daily, in the end Matt got 1st followed closely by Ajay and 3rd was a big surprise to everyone - a singlespeeder who rides flat pedals and is so humble and uncompetitive - he never realised how good he is, as he doesn't race! He even beat Matt on a couple of the special stages. Hats off!

Onto the Ladies Solo and the special stage of today, I again surprised myself by getting 3rd once more and overall for the week I also got 3rd place! I was very pleased to have podium'd at such a challenging event, and with some gore vouchers and a cash prize to spend (probably on beer) it was even better.

Podium girls

After the presentation we had some dinner - there were very few people left now, just the hardcore and the staff. At 7pm we'd arranged to walk into town for a pub crawl, after traipsing a couple of miles and getting chased by horses we settled in the pub.

I was pooped. I couldnt even muster the energy to have a proper conversation, I opted for an OJ and lemonade - what the fuck? Ok, just one rum.

I could barely keep my eyes open, and by 9 I was looking for excuses to go back to the campsite... it wasn't like I had anywhere to be.

Luckily I wasn't the only one to feel like this so a bunch of us walked back and were in our tents by 10.30 - rock n roll!!

Day 6 - Nightrider (and throwing my toys out of the pram)

I didn't wake up til 6:45 today, and it was also the first day I had felt any sort of aching - not just my head from the booze abuse, a bit of a dull ache in my thighs. I looked and felt like shit. I dragged myself to breakfast where the others were already sat down.
The midges weren't as bad today, well there were still lots around, but they weren't swarming and quite so bitey.

I can tell I'm getting weary as I'm not biting with the guys piss taking today. I fuelled up on the usual nosh and tried to soak up the booze. Aware that I was dehydrated too I tried to force water down my gullet too.

I packed up my tent, and got my shit together, the music on the PA system was getting me in the mood today, we were in the bottom of a valley, so the standard climb to start the day and get the legs pumping was inevitable.

When we rolled out of the campsite, we went out across the back of the field we'd been camping in, which surprisingly didn't take us immediately uphill, but out through some farmland and onto some moorland, then of course we did go uphill, but the uphills for the first time were "fun" they were interesting, rocky ascents that you had to think a bit and concentrate.

Me and Jason were riding together again today as Dan's knee is still fat and sore, I'm surprised he wants to hang out with me again after yesterdays strop! Today had been promised to be wet (not like that) with the infamous river crossings - about 11 or so of them I'm told (I didn't count them) it wasn't long before we were splashing through puddles in some spectacular valleys, the puddles soon gave way to the river crossings. They were such fun riding through, the first ones were pretty shallow and short, they became deeper with larger rocks, by now we were pretty wet, shoes filled with water, but we were bouncing along splashing around like a couple of kids. It was by far the best mornings riding we'd done. The rivers went on for miles and we were j ust thrashing through the water, pedalling through the trails and land rover gulleys and obviously riding along the river meant we were hardly climbing at all! When we pulled out of the trails and onto the road where the lunch stop was we were really happy and smiling. We sat down for a bit and had some lunch,  I was starting to feel hungover now we'd stopped and took an extra jam sarnie for later.

After lunch the course went down a steep road then onto a bitch of a road climb, then onto an even more of a bitch steep rocky climb. I suddenly had nothing left in my legs, I was turning the pedals but the bike didnt seem to be listening. "come on legs"

I don't know what happened to me (maybe the beer knows) , but from then on I was riding like a total twat. I couldnt get over the easiest obstacle, having to stop and push over things which would normally not phase me or be a problem. I was feeeling totally zapped and unhappy, talk about Bipolar! Jason's singing didn't even help my mood as it deteriorated further. We had been told that ahead was the longest stretch of singletrack in Wales, so I thought this might help things as it would probably be more flowing than the wet lumpy moorland we were riding across.

The next few miles went something like this.... Pedal, mud, grind to a halt, dismount, push, growl, remount, mud, dismount... and so on. It was breaking my soul. Where the fuck was this singletrack?? What? We're on it? Jeez. It was maybe the longest piece of singletrack but also the most unrideable. every 100 yards or so you'd smash into a big boggy patch of mud so any hope of getting a bit of momentum was near impossible. I could feel my rage building. We passed the photographer who I couldnt even force a smile for, I was near tears. I don't do crying.I smashed once more into a boggy patch, got off, yelled at the hill. Jason was somewhere a little ahead of me, and I wished I was riding on my own today, when I'm having a bad patch like this, I just need to be able to slap myself in the face and plough through it.



Look how happy I look!! :-)




I passed through some shrubbery and there sat in the bushes was Jason. He told me to get off and sit down for a bit. I was relieved, we sat down in the bushes admiring the valley below (i'd forgotten to look at how gorgeous it all looked whilst I was sat staring at my front wheel swearing like a trooper) I got out the emergency jam sarnie and we sat there for probably 20 minutes. I once more apologised for being a cunt. Poor Jason. I tried to perk up, it can't be far now back to the ranch so we got back on and rode on through the rest of the singletrack (boggy splashes)

When we got back everyone must have already been back, the special stage today was the Exposure lights night stage so people were wandering around in compression tights looking serious.

I went to clean off my bike, had a shower and went to get my tent. The campsite today was on a farm and instead of the inflatable catering tent there was a large barn where it was all set up. I got my tent and started to put it up, but couldnt find my poles.... hmm.. I went back to the lorry to see if they'd fallen out. Nope. Bugger, where were they?

After some rummaging around I gave up, there were some spare pop up tents knocking around so they let me borrow one of them, i put it up, just as it started to rain. We ate a smaller than normal dinner as noone wanted to be too full for later then found out our start times for the special stage - mine was 9:36.

There was a real buzz around the camp tonight, everyone talking tactics about tonight's time trial. It was a 3km fireroad climb followed by a 3km singletrack descent. It was my sort of course, the long climb is where I knew I could put some minutes into the other girls - not the leading 2 who noone could touch mind! I had decided that I'd swap my tyres back to more racey ones for the stage and once I had and people saw I was greeted with remarks such as "that's a brave tyre choice", "they'll be fun with this rain"

I started to worry now, looking at everyone elses tyres. Ah fuck em, I knew they'd help me on the climb, and the descent I'd no doubt be picking my way down like the pussy that I am anyway so I won't slip!

I went to have a nap, and sent Martin a text asking him about the tyres - he told me to get on with it.

I got up, got changed, sorted out my lights (one on my helmet and a 100000 lumens exposure one I'd borrowed on the handlebars) I rolled out of the campsite with a few others, and we made our way to the trail, it was a few miles of road to get there, and soon we could hear the bass pumping from the PA system and Matt carr yelling through mic.

It was raining pretty constantly now, not really hard, just a steady drizzle. I knocked back a gel, I was still feeling shattered, I'd been tempted to sit it out but decided to follow rule #5 and harden the fuck up. When we got there though, the atmosphere was so surreal I soon got back in the zone. The music blasting, the excitement of all the riders, Matt yelling "pedal!pedal!pedal!" as the riders started off the ramp.

It wasnt long before Matt Page and Ajay shot through the finishing chute just seconds apart. Matt had been caught on the climb but he'd managed to pass on the descent.

9:36 soon came about and I climbed up onto the metal ramp, music still pumping, I could see myself slipping off it - that'd be embarrassing! Matt gave it some banter down the mic at me, and I was given the countdown - 3...2...1...."Pedal!Pedal!Pedal!" and I was off. The hill started quite sharply and  pedalled hard until I was round the corner out of site, it eased off a little and I started pushing. Some of the corners even on the climb I found a bit sketchy and had to ease back a little. It wasn't long before I caught up with the guy in front, then the lady in front, then just as the route was about to take the singletrack climb, I caught one more bloke for luck. I fucked up the bend on the first bit of singletrack, it was a steep climb on a hairpin, I had to dab my foot down for a second.

I was concious that there were people fairly close behind me and not wanting to hold them up on the descent, but I knew I'd done a good job of the climb.

The descent was fantastic, it was just smooth, twisty, well maintained singetrack, a few big berms, nothing nasty to catch you out, a few steep drops. I wasnt hammering it, I was overtaken by the RAF guy with amazing legs who was absolutely flying. Then I got stuck behind a lady for what felt like ages, I asked to pass when I could, but there was nowhere for her to pull over, so I had to sit behind her picking her way down the hill worse than me. I was gettting frustrated, after a kilometer I finally got passed and hammered the pedals and went for it and after a few more twists and turns I was through the finish line. The tyres were totally fine and I regretted not pushing past her sooner, but I always hate it in case I get caught up again and look like a dickhead.

I hung around for a bit after, then rode on back to dry off and got a burger from the caterers who'd put on an extra supper, it was the nicest burger I've had in ages, but I could only eat half so gave the other half to Fi. Once more the camp was full of riders high on endorphins from another fun stage.

There was beer being sold again, but I was shattered, and didnt want another hangover, so I was sensible and got an early night (early being 11.30!)

Results were to be the next morning

Day 5 - I'm too sexy for my shirt...and the mother of all fire road climbs

Today started after 5 hours sleep, a skinful of booze and an almighty hangover.

Last night turned out to be a bit lairier than planned, all the same it was great fun. The chuckle brothers were out on it too and Paul (Dan) is having to sit out the riding as he cut his knee pretty badly yesterday so the stitches and swelling are stopping him from bending his leg so today I'm going to ride with Barry Chuckle (Jason) he's a bit quicker than me on the linking stages (much quicker than me on the descents) but the long breaks they take means we get back around the same time each day.

Breakfast was a bleary eyed affair. I felt super tired, ate a big breakfast once more, lots of coffee, banter about the previous nights shenanigans. I just wanted to go back to sleep, the thought of another 75km on the bike wasn't appealing to me add to that surprise surprised - 2400m of climbing! We were becoming used to the climbing now, it was just part of the routine. I'm sure my granny ring will need replacing pretty soon!

I'd changed my brake pads last night and the pistons needed to be pushed out, so after going back to bed for a few winks, I took it over to an equally bleary eyed Gareth from Cycle-Tec who sorted it out in seconds.

I was conscious that I was dehydrated from last night so tried to make an effort to drink plenty of water but my stomach was sick of digesting fluids! There were forecasts for really shitty weather today but we started the day with clear blue skies, and this is how it stayed all day. This wasn't the Wales I'd been told about.

So 9am we sat off, and straight into a 10km climb. This was just what I needed to clear my head, and you know what? It really was. After 20 minutes in the saddle I felt heaps better. The riding was once more pretty tough but also had lots of fun water splashes interspersed into it. The special stage today was the talk of the breakfast table earlier, with a 4km descent and a 4km "Leg Burner" fire road climb. In my head the fire road climb was the stage most suited to me. I'm a shit descender but give me a long nontechnical climb and I'm sorted.

There were tactics in the camp, people were sitting back in the group today to preserve their energy. Riders I rarely saw on the route were mingling with the mid packers. Just before the special stage, I saw someone changing their tyres to slicker ones.

The specials stage was only about 30k into the ride and just before lunch stop. Me and Jason had been having a really funny morning, piss taking and laughing all the way. We came round some gorgeous scenery, passing by reservoirs and open lakes then onto some singletrack then out onto Nant Yr Arian trail. I was nervous about the descent, but looking forward to hammering the climb.

We reached the timed section, where there was music blasting, Matt Carr (also hungover) was commentating, Michael Wilkens was starting off the riders. This section was a looped one, so there were people coming back in to the finish as people were starting off, the lunch stop was also here, so there were lots of people about making the atmosphere pretty cool.

Jason and I got in the queue to do our time trials, I set off first to Matt shouting "Smash it!" through the PA system, big ringed it on the fire road descent which took a left turn into a pretty tough fire road/rocky climb - I'd locked out my forks just before thinking it looked like it was just a fire road climb start but it was rockier than it looked, so unlocked and gave it some welly.

Jason soon came pissing past me, and started yelling at me to "Fucking Go!" after about 500m of climbing the course took a descent through some big water splashes, the last one absolutely soaking me from head to toe. I was almost on my minute man, and Jason just in front of me. I came round bend and found Jason off his bike wedged against the side of the mountain, I asked if he was OK, and faltered slightly not wanting to leave me wingman, he said he was fine so I carried on. The course then went onto a lovely piece of singletrack, narrow, twisty, a few berms, except I was a fucking joke. I was picking my way through it like I should have had a basket on the front. Don't get me wrong, I was still loving it, I was just impossibly slow. Three people behind me, over took in this section, When I finally got to the bottom of the descent it was straight onto the now infamous "Leg Burner"

My minute man immediately dismounted and started pushing - What the fuck? I locked out my suspension put my gear onto the middle ring and got myself ready for the climb. Keeping my cadence high and trying to keep the rhythm consistent I caught up with another rider. The climb, was fairly steady to begin with, then it was have the odd hard ramp up. I caught a guy who'd overtaken me on the descent, and another. I focused on the speed I was doing, keep it above this I said to myself, my lungs were busting and I was breathing hard, but my legs still felt good.

I had no idea how far up I'd gone so didn't know how hard to push, the road turned a corner and climbed steeper still I was almost caught up with the last guy who'd overtaken me, he looked round and obviously hadn't expected to see me, "where did those legs come from" - "I'm gash at descending" he encouraged me up the hill to try and go quicker, but he put more space between us, the course then hung a left and onto a brief bit of single track, I wasn't expecting it though, I quickly unlocked as a big rock appeared in front to pick my front wheel up over, quickly knocked it into the granny ring as once more it climbed , twisted and there 50 yards in front was the finish,. Just as I was having a bit of difficulty in the wrong gear, on an awkward rocky bit I thought I was going to have to get off and push the last few metres but I pedalled on up the last and over the line. Heaving and collapsed on the grass verge. When I'd got my breath back, I had a look around for Jason, but he was nowhere to be seen.

I got some lunch and sat down assuming he was still out on the time trial. Fifteen minutes later he appeared, it turned out the guy in front had jammed on the brakes right in front of Jase and the only way he could avoid crashing into him was pulling into the wall of the cliff denting his wheel in the process. He'd managed to almost straighten it out but they were tubeless so he had to put in a tube.

He said he'd get some lunch then we could go but I made him do the Time trial, I was getting a bit stiff being off the bike so long as I don't normally stop for this long but I didn't want him to miss out, so off he went, and I sat around chatting to people, when he came back, he got some lunch and sat down for a bit... I had been sat around now for over an hour and was getting bit anxious to get on, as we were only half way and we only had another 3 hours to get back before the cut off and looking at the profile it looked to be a slow final 35k.

Back on the bike my legs felt dead and empty. Shit. Straight into a big fire road climb, my legs just felt terrible. Shit. I had plenty of fuel on board so I didn't want to eat anything else. The road must go down soon, then my legs can have a bit of recovery.
The road continued to go up.
and up
and up some more
for 30km this fucking awful fireroad climbed.

As the afternoon went on, I became less and less fun to be around. Jason tried to make me laugh, it worked most of the time. My favourite was when he would randomly burst into song - singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt," by Right Said Fred.

I was really struggling this afternoon, the road just kept going up and up. How is this possible!!

15km of climbing later we got to the last feed station, I was in a shit mood. Bob from High5 said there was a bit of a climb left, then a descent, and we'd be back in about 15-20km.

Out of the feed station and the clock was running away without us, we were going to struggle to make the cut off! If you were back after the cut off, you got time penalties added to your overall time - everyone gets the same time you see but for each minute over the allotted time you go, they add on a second.

Round the corner, and there in front of us another fuck off climb! I has a massive tantrum, I growled and shouted. Poor Jason...

"I'm....too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt.." and a cheeky grin appeared next to me.

I managed to laugh, and apologise for being a brat. My legs were so empty I just wanted to cry and be back at the camp. I was struggling so badly, Jason made me swap bikes with him on the hard climbs and I had my bike back for the rare descents (which I was just hammering down in a vain attempt to get home quicker ) his bike was a lot lighter and quicker on the climbs than mine, even though I'd thought mine was fast and light.

The kilometers dragged by so slowly, we wove through more fireroads and up some more, through barren landscapes with enormous wind farms.

Climbing.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt..."

"I hate this afternoon!"

"so sexy it hurts!"

I loved him for trying, we finally reached the top of this bitch of a climb and stopped to take some pictures of the incredible view we were finally rewarded with. We were on top of the world, we could see the evil road which snaked up the mountain in a thin twisty line. Jason gave me some malt loaf and we carried on through the wind farms, finally a descent! We bumped into one of the marshals who said it was just 3 or 4km to go to the campsite.

"hurrah"

What he didn't say was that 1km of that was the worst climb yet! I swore, I rode a little way up it, resigned myself to the fact that I was running on empty and got off and pushed to the top.

A not very rewarding and windy descent back down and we were finally back!

At some point during the day Jason had agreed to putting on his Gillet back to front so it looked like a string vest and cross the line singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt"

He held his end of the bargain and did just that. I finished the stage with a smile on my face but mentally and physically exhausted.

I was pretty unhappy as I went to wash my bike off.

Today's campsite was in the middle of nowhere, 15 miles from civilisation, next to a stream, populated with millions and millions of midges, sitting in waiting to come out and eat us alive later.

Where Rob and Ryan were camped was miles (like 300m) from where the luggage lorry was so I got a lift on the quad with my stuff to where they were, put up my tent, sulked a bit at how terrible this afternoon had been, and disappointed that it had tarnished such a brilliant morning.

I showered, put up my tent (just before it started to rain a little) changed, went to find my wing man, said "sorry for being such a horrible cunt" had a beer with him and Dan and went to the medical tent with them to get Dan's dressing changed. The midges were now starting to get hungry  and were coming out in their thousands. Nasty little buggers.

We had dinner, I was really tired and subdued so not my normal self, after dinner was going to be the presentation of the days stage results, a bar and a band on to amuse us in the ass end of nowhere village we were.

We got some beers and waited for the presentation, I was chuffed to have got 3rd place in today's and got on the podium and won some Gore vouchers, then we went back to the drinking, the band came on who were brilliant. It was a great touch for the organisers to put this on.

About 10.30 the band finished, I was a bit pissed by now, sensible people sloped off to bed, leaving the usual suspects of about 8 of us to carry on the boozing into the night, Gareth put some tunes on the PA system and it ended up being another 1.30 bed time....

Day 4 Llandidliosss to Mufflove and Climaxing

Today was the longest linking stage of the week, and after 3 tough days of climbing I was concerned about it. With 84km nearly 2300m of climbing, it was set to be another day in the pain locker. With a big breakfast on board and clear skies we said goodbye to Llanidloes and made our way onto Machynleth

The first 20km was once more uphill.... I guess what goes up must come down right? Thankfully although it was steep, it was mostly on road and forest track so the miles flew by, and before we knew it we were at the first water stop.

I was still surprised at how fresh my legs were feeling, but not wanting to get caught out I was still prudent with my effort level.

We carried on through sheep tracks, lots of gates which we took in turns on opening/shutting, there was an unknown gate etiquette, how long should you wait? If someone is 50ft away, should you hold it open or leave it for the next group? Everyone knew not to shut it in the face of someone haring down a hill! Some people used it as an excuse to rest their weary legs or stop for a bite to eat.

For the last two days there had been talk about a big dangerous descent on todays ride, it was said to be like riding on ice when it's wet, a sheer 400yard piece of slate which gives way to "the cheese grater" section. It's conversations like this that give me the willies, again if I didnt know about it I"d probably be fine.

A little before this, was a really technical descent, an off camber sheep track with sheer drops to the left, big rocks which jumped out on you trying to throw you down the side of the mountain. Just ahead the track turned into a rocky trail and people were slowing down. I thought this must be "the descent" there was a bottle neck of people and a steeep technical descent which twisted round to the river crossing, people had already dismounted in front of me. It was rideable - as long as you were moving. Now stationary I too got off and pushed the bike down - it was probably harder to walk down. Once over the bridge we had an almighty and very technical push back up. No one was riding it, I'd be surprised if Ajay and Matt Page at the front would have - I'd be interested to now how they rode through a slate vertical gulley.

Once over the top of the hill the trail carried on a little further, and there in front of me was  a "caution" sign... Fuck it, this must be the descent. Except it didnt seem so bad.... there was a clear line down it, OK, so it wasn't easy. People were walking down it, but it looked again harder to be on foot. There was a small waterfall flowing down it and once more the voices of the others "It's like ice when it's wet" in my head. I wasn't going to let the brakes go totally but I didnt strangle them, I tried to keep the wheels moving in a straight line, not letting them lock out.

I looked ahead, I was half way down already, I felt dead proud. A more ballsy rider came flying past me, I caught up with someone walking, he was in my way so I had to put a foot down to get past. Once clear of him, I let the bike roll once more, down the steep slippery potential deathtrap, down a couple of large rocky drop offs, then the descent took a left, and onto the "cheese grater" again the scaremongers had made it seem worse than it is.. maybe it's more about what you're used to riding on? I don't mind riding on rocks, I can sort of see why they called it a cheesegrater, if you came off at speed, you would be pretty short of skin after.


I made it down the cheese grater stage and once more the path took a turn, I took the corner wrong and had to push for a few meters got my wheels back on track and on down the now grassy/rocky descent. I actually found this harder, the damp grass making my wheels skid.

The scottish lady who appeared next to me, got off saying "i've run out of brave" afte r tackling the descent. We both then had to dsimount to get through a rocky river crossing and up a steep bank.

From here, the ride went onto some fast rolling tracks and a few miles of road, into a head wind. The scottish lady and her team mate appeared and the 3 of us chainganged for the next section, giving each other a chance to rest whilst flying through the mileage then onto lunch.

From lunch was a bit of road, some consistent climbing on road and fire road, the Special stage today was quite late in the ride, and was pure descent - Eek! I'd spoken to Phil back home about it and he said it was one of his favourite trails and I'd love it, told me to relax and keep my weight back.

After a  short section of pumpy singletrack, where I tried to get my mind and body back on singletrack style riding, keep my body relaxed and weight moving on the bike. Back onto a short fireroad section and we were at the timed section. A quick banana down the hatch at the food station just before and I went down the chute into the well known Climachx Trail

The trail was amazing! It flowed so well, fast and twisty, pedalling as much as I could on the flatter sections, pumping the forks into and out of deep sections. I was all of a sudden up on my minute man, how is that possible? someone slower and descending than me? Next thing he was off, twisted into a big rock garden with his bike still attached to him. He let me pass, but I had to dismount, and run and push my bike over the tricky technical rock garden. I ran for about 40 meters or so until I was passed all the rocks, (they were gargantuan!) I will go back there and tackle them properly when the red mist isnt in my eyes. Back on the bike and downwardsa again, i wasnt' going fast I knew that, someone was on my back wheel, I shouted that I'd try to pull over somewhere, he patiently waited whilst I picked my way down the snaking berms. Once more I yelled "sorry! i'm shit!" He said not to worry to carry on, as I was in a good position on the results and he wasnt going to come that high.

Down the last bit of descent and put the hammer down through the finish line to music and  Matt Carr comparring, nearly getting catapulted out of the saddle over a hump on the road and getting yelled at to slow down.

I was high as a kite! The most exhilierating downhill descent I've ever done. I could see why it was called the Climax trail!  My confidence was increasing and I was actually enjoying the adrenaline of gravity. I pushed on to the end totally buzzing, I didnt see anyone else for the last 15km, and when I got to the campsite and a microphone shoved in my face asking about my day it was all I could do not to swear about how fucking awesome it was! The longest ride yet but it flew by and my ride time was about 4hr30.

There was a brilliant buzz around the camp this afternoon, everyone was high on endorphins from the Climax trail. Everyone fancied their chances on the podium this evening (except me, I knew I played it safe, better to ride within my limits and get down safely was my thought- Paul Chuckle didnt play it so safe, cutting open his knee on the rock garden and ending up in hospital with stitches in his knee. )

With everyone in sucha great mood, hot showers in the leisure centre, tent, sunbathing, I did a beer run, dinner, presentation (4th again) beer and we carried on as the evening started.....

Several pints, a few rums, too many tabs (much to the disgust of my new friends) later we returned to the campsite after the pub would serve us no more, and sat around the Merida bus drinking wine until that was gone.... I finally stumbled into my sleeping bag around 1.30am...

Day 3 Clun(ge) to Llanidloes A taste of the Epic

It had been pissing down all night, but thankfully my itchy legs had stopped and I got a pretty good sleep, and thanks to Ali's tent I didn't get wet at all, which is more than can be said than some others.


Gore were lending out swanky jackets on a try before you buy thing (not that many people had intention of buying them after - just wanting to keep their own kit dry for now) so I borrowed an excellent rain coat, which is designed to be breathable (and save for climbing huge mountains it pretty much was)


Over breakfast Rob was showing us how to flick beans and a group of us had gravitated to each other - a group where the tone was as about as low as it gets and the laughter was pretty much constant, there was always someone who was the brunt of the jokes. Today was my turn, as one of my pictures from yesterday was particularly unflattering, resulting in my being called "Les Dawson" (I've since googled this and I'm not happy!)

On with the days riding, (70k, 2100m climbing) just as we were getting ready to go, the rain stopped and the sun peeped it's head out briefly. I took off my jacket and as soon as we were into the first climb (just kilometers away) I was glad I did. The first climb of the day out the way, and a big descent, then the coat was back on for most of the day as the heavens opened. Just in time for a 15km climb, big grassy inclines with the wind battering us around. Onto some amazing but bleak open moorland and sheeptracks. This is how I think of mountain biking, I was having a fantastic day. When I hear people talking about "Epic" rides, this is what they're talking about. Proper hardy mountain goat style terrain, big rocky climbs and descents, landscapes littered with sheep, fields filled with gorse bushes just waiting for you to fall in them so they can attack you.


I could hear moaning behind me, and it was the chuckle brothers - I'd met them briefly on the ride yesterday when they were much more chipper. Today, Barry Chuckle was complaining about everything. It seemed ages til the lunch stop and we had just got up a big climb only to find that it hadn't finished yet, so they stopped for an unscheduled lunch stop, I joined them for a while and gave them haribo (Sorry Sally!) and hence receiving the name Haribo Lady for a while. It is true though, Kids and grown ups love them so, it put a smile back on their faces.


I carried on, and up and really enjoying myself, not feeling like I'd done 2 marathons in the 2 days previous. There was a monster of a road climb up to the lunch stop where I collapsed and abandoned my bike on the road side. The chuckle brothers were there - still complaining - Barry (Jason) was having a bad day out there, I was a bouncy ray of sunshine (apparently) and sat with them a few minutes whilst I ate a sarnie. I don't like to stop for too long as it's not great for my legs so I carried on once more.

Despite the fun I was having, today was hard, much harder than previous days, the climbing was more intense, the marshy moorland made it draining on my legs, the single track was filled with deep ruts making it a challenge and requiring concentration to be on at a  maximum. Several people didnt make the cut off today and it's easy to see why. But on the same coin, it was the single best days' off roading I'd done to date.


I rolled into the finish after a section on the road which contained plenty of short sharp hills to finish off already weary legs. My bike was pretty caked today, tonights stop was at Llanidleos Rugby Ground, where I was reliably informed there was a bar!


So back on the afternoon routine, bike, tent - the guys did this for me today whilst I went for a shower which was real nice of em, but I think they were just sick of seeing me put it up in a shambolic way! There wasnt a shop nearby today so I didnt do a beer run, but Rob promised me a pint after dinner. "Thanks Dad" ;-)


There was a little ice cream stand too, so I got a round of ice creams in - the sun had reappeared once more and it looked like we'd have a pleasant night. Dinner was once more excellent - how they manage to do that every morning and night, then pack it all up move to the next campsite, sleeping in tents too is amazing. Really excellent job.


So after dinner, we wandered over to the rugby bar and had a couple of pints each whilst watching the rugby team practice. Today was the last day for some of the riders just doing the 3 day mini version but it also meant fresh meat on the campsite of the people doing the 4 day mini version.


You could tell the new people as their bikes were clean, they looked fresh and a little bit like when a child starts school and the other kids have already established their friendship groups.


I was gettting to the point of either carrying on drinking for the night, or tunring in and getting some sleep... the others helped make my mind up on this by starting the walk back - we got round the corner only to find 20 other riders in the bar.... temptation nearly got the better of me, but I went back to my tent. It was pretty cold tonight and the sky had once more cleared.


There was no special stage today so the standings are as they were before and I'm still in 4th which I'm really please about given the high level of competition in my category.

Day 2 Knighton to Clun (ge)

I woke up after a shitty itchy nights sleep with puffy eyes and sore legs. I left my tent to a heavy dew wondering if it had been raining. I put my shades on to hide my tired eyes, and went to breakfast with the others, to much mockery about my rockstar pretentious look. One look at my sleepy eyes said it all!

Breakfast - Weetabix & bran flakes (lesson learnt) french toast and waffles.... good job we're cycling a fair way today eh!?

I was worried my legs would be sore, but I felt totally fine, again - good job! Todays route was undulating to say the least. with 76km and 2300m climbing, it was going to hurt. No doubt. I'd looked at the profile map a few times and was shitting myself about the first descent.

We set off with a quick word from the local Mayor, and as promised the first climb would be a push. 2km in and we had a 15 minute push up all that can be described as a verticle climb, followed by an equally steep descent. I'd looked at this several times and it wasnt getting any less scary looking!

After throwing our bikes over a style (thanks to whoever helped with mine) we were into some woods and back on board. A quick descent and I thought "phew, it wasnt that bad at all!" until I got round the corner, and all I could see was the ground disappear into an abyss. The surface was a loose rocky mixture of topsoil, I was immediately glad I'd changed my front tyre, as my back one started skidding around behind me.

I heard Rafe's voice in my head as I strangled the brakes, "Bum back, feather the brakes" which was all well and good when as soon as you let go of the buggers, you shot forward and down at frightening speed.

Wrestling my bike down the descent, correcting wayward skidding and fighting the urge to hang on the brakes, I finally saw the bottom of the hill, a right turn onto the road and there waiting to catch me was a paramedic. I made the mistake of looking at my front wheel, braked way too hard, and went hurtling right handed into a bush with my front wheel locked out in a rut.

I picked myself out of the bush with other riders whistling past, checked I was in one piece - a few minor scrapes, twigs in my hair, saddle twisted. Recomposed myself and got to the bottom with a bit of shame. Good start to the day!

After 20km of climbing, (what is it with Wales and hills eh!?)

Today's special stage was billed as a descending stage. I'm notoriously shit at going down (you'll be surprised to hear!) and I wasn't looking forward to it. I arrived at the special stage and was told it was in 3 phases - the "downhill run", a less steep section then a fireroad/rocky climb back up to the finish.

The moment someone said "Downhill run" i shit my pants a bit (not literally - I am a lady) but you get the drift. I saw some people in front drop into the course and i warned the people behind to give me a bit of extra room as I'm real slow. People were coming back from their run totally wired and full of excitement... I went into it hardly breathing.

I set off intot he loop and the course was a really nice piece of dry dusty singletrack, steep and "pumpy" it was really twisty but realy rideable, big twisty berms, and I caught up with the guy in front of me, who was walking down the berms. I was really loving it, I find the less I know, the less I worry. Which was just as welll as I got round the corner and there was a 10ft drop off, I left my stomach behind me somewhere, looked ahead, dropped off the back of the seat and somehow landed in one piece.

More twits and turns and some big rooty sections, through the trees, Popped out the end and powered back up the road, which was harder than I expected. I was overtaken by Natasha - Miss lightening, and an Elite racer, I couldnt find the extra gear to push on, so I rolled up the hill and over the line. The day was still young and I didnt want to burn out so soon in the week.

After this, we had a big fire road descent to the first aid station, then back out and up once more. It was like this for most of the day, we hit an incredible black run down hill course (which again when I saw the sign, gave me the heebie jeebies) but when I overtook people walking through the technical descents I felt better about my ability. If nothing else, this week should give me some confidence on my descending.

We passed through some incredible scenery, past a large mansion with a lake and people punting on it. Furhter climbing/descending, a bit of road work and we were back home and dry, tents were already up, (not mine of course) todays camp was a little town called Clun - which of course soon became known as Clunge.

So, as the routine soon became bike wash, shower, tent up, beer run, dinner, presentation (4th again) and this time a trip to the first aid tent to get something for my sore legs - some antihystamine cream and piriton. The medics were quite possibly the friendliest bunch I'd ever come across. I also changed my rear tire to full nobbly too as tomorrow was forecast to rain.

I had a pretty early night tonight after such a shitty nights sleep the night before, still unable to wear my compression tights I started to worry that my legs wouldn't make the week - still I didnt manage to have a stretch yet.... my only regret of today was not manning up on the descent. But another fantastic day in the saddle and out of it, my new friends were making it a lot of entertainment.

Day 1 - Builth Wells to Knighton

Sunday 5.30am

I woke up a bit squished in my tent, I'm a bit of a stretcher and I my feet were wedged to the end of the tent. Breakfast was served from 6.30 each morning, so I had some time before I was due to get up to sort out my kit for the day. I wasn't sure what the weather was doing, but I was suspecting it might be raining. I stuck my head out into the Welsh air and to my joy it was dry out.

I got out of my tent, had a stretch, and went with Rob and Ryan into the catering tent, the generators had been going from around 5am to keep the tent inflated. We had a couple of cups of coffees whilst we waited for breakfast to be served. which was a really decent selection of crumpets, eggs, bacon, porridge, cereals. I had a crumpet, an egg and some really unpleasant porridge (gruel) - I decided to have weetabix tomorrow! The piss taking continued over breakfast, Rob and Ryan's quick wit combined with my sharp tongue was causing much amusement.

With plenty of time before we were due to have a race briefing at 8.45 for a 9am start, which gave me plenty of time to take down my tent, pack up my stuff and load it on to the lorry leaving me plenty of time to fettle with my bike.

The race briefing went over things we already knew - distance (75k)/ascent(2100m)/descent (2100m)  and the cut off time which was a generous 6.5 hours. Today there was also a special stage of an approx 1.5k technical climb about 9km into the ride.

We were set off prompt at 9am to music blasting through the PA system and started the long day out in the hills. before I knew it we were climbing, my legs hadn't warmed up yet, my heart rate was high, (which, along with the climbing was the order of the day)

The route took us onto a off camber sheep track for a while, undulating all the time,about 5k in, just in front of me, the route made a funny fork with an awkward camber, the guy in front took a left on it, whilst everyone else had gone right.

I was blinkered and followed him left down into what looked like it could be an alternative route, he yelled something back when I asked if it was passable - given he'd ridden through I carried on. After about 200m of riding through ferns and nettles I had to dismount and push. The guy had disappeared just like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Up to my left about 15ft I could see the rest of the field passing me by... shit!

I didnt want to turn back so I kept on pushing through the sort of track which was there, to my right there was a sort of path up onto the track everyone else was on, I powered on past - there must be a way out, that guy came this way! I was getting lower down and the other riders were getting higher, I eventually after about 500m deceided I'd just have to turn back, I was pissed off with myself for following the white rabbit. I eventually came back to the fork covered entirely with stinging nettle rash and fern whip, and thoroughly pissed off and right near the back of the group now! Grrrr!

I got back on the sheep track and picked my way past some of the other rider. We still seemed to be climbing, now on loose quarry type rocks, big boulders, and loose gravel. The Time trial would be ahead of us soon and my legs were already feeling the gradient - what the fuck was I doing here!?

After a couple of awkward descents and equally awkward climbs back out the Timed section was in front of me. I rode over the timing mat, and tried to put the hammer down, I felt drained already! I motored past as many people as I could catch - still annoyed with myself for taking a wrong turn so early in the day! The climb was testing, steep and lung burning. Big slabs of rock interspersed with dirt track. It took a right turn with an even larger slab of rock. I past people already walking, the hill swung left and almost threatened to flatten out slightly before allowing me to flip it into the middle ring and power up the last stretch over the timing mat and past the heaving riders at the feed station just after. I grabbed a banana and carried on riding. I wanted to flush out my legs of the lactic that was threatening to screw me over.

The climbing didnt seem to stop all day - I know this isn't true as we took back all the ascent we'd gained, not that my legs knew it. About 30k in we hit a monstrous climb which seemed to go on forever... and ever... suddenly we flew down a massive descent - weeeeee! Just at the bottom of here, we were faced with the front riders coming back towards us.... we'd all missed an arrow and gone the wrong way. The reward..? To get back up the lovely descent we'd come down. People were muttering and moaning.

The rest of the day was lots of climing, sheep tracks, double tracks, open moorland, beautiful scenery some deep rutty bridalways where you had to pick a gulley and stick to it - easier said than done!
We were rewarded with a fast fireroad descent into lunch for sandwiches and biscuits before continuing the route into Knighton which once more took us across testing gradient and some of the most beautiful scenery I'd ever seen.... at least for now.

The last few kilometers were on tarmac and we rolled into Knighton Football pitch over the finish, first things first, clean bike, then recovery drink/snack, deal with tent, shower etc.

After a shower I was hankering for a beer like never before. The sun was shining, the music was blaring, it was like being at a festival. So I walked into the town to collect some beers for me, rob and ryan - it was still hours til dinner so we might as well right?

So we sat in the sun, drank some beer, I changed my front tire for something with more grip as I was told that it would be a bit wetter where we were riding tomorrow in the woods.

6pm dinner was served, we chatted to some new people we'd met during the day, the piss taking stepped up another notch.

there was a tv in the corner showing pics on repeat of photos taken throughout the day, so we had a look at that after dinner, had a mooch about. At 8pm was the presentation for the first stage Time Trial. Each category was awarded prizes 1st - 3rd. After this the times were all posted on the notice board - I was pleased to have gotten 4th place!

I put my compression tights on and thought about bed, we turned in about 10pm. I laid there for half an hour, realising my legs were impossibly itchy. I had to take off the tights, they were making the nettle rash worse.

I tried sudocream on them but that didnt work. For the entire night, i scratched my legs raw, it was excruitiating. The more i scratched the itchier it got. I must have had about an hours sleep. I got up the next morning feeling rotten !